12/18/99

 

There are things about myself that scare me.....my daily fight and obsession with being thing may kill me one day. Life is made up of little mysteries, and my heart is one of them, what is it that I want? Wht do I expect from myeslf? Do Iexpect too much? or do I not respect myself enough? every once an awhile I get tired of trying to be perfect, sometimes it just gets so hard to control myself. I wish that someday I could find someone who can love me, stand by m with all of my faulds, and understand me. Is it possible that I've already found that person? My heart droops to be parted from the one person who knows me...I love her so much, she's the strongest person I've ever met, and I lover her, she means the world to me. she stands beside me, not in front or behind me, and she loves me so purley, and unconditionally.....she's perfect in my eyes, and nothing else matters. She's the only person I've ever met that I can truely say is mine....my Cassie, my best friend, I mean Bobby's my love, but is he going to be there when the world turns on me? Cassie is......and I know that, it's one of the only things I do know. Bobby and I parted once, will it last this time? This is the time of judgement....if he's not string enough to love me then even though he holds the key to my heart....I will be forced to let him go....true love is everything, but lord yours is the only true love for me....isn't it?

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