10/26/00
It's been a long, long day, and it's not over yet. Tonight we (the band) marched in the J/V football game after our four hour practice, and I still have some homework to do. It looks as though I wont be getting to bed untill about 11. We have a competition on saturday, i'm looking foreward to it, it will be my first one. Marching is coming along well for me, I guess, tonight I did fairly well....i'm starting to catch the drift a bit more than last week.
There was a movie today in 6th hour that depressed me to the point of almost crying. It was a comparison of epidemic diseases, from the plague, to small pox.....to AIDS. That movie scared the living daylights out of me, and made me realize how stupid and irresponsable I was for the past two years. It also made me realize the fact that I don't know, I really don't know what's going on with my body, and I want to get tested as soon as I possibly can.
I know it may sound weird, but I don't think my mom would be too understanding about my need to get tested. She took it hard enough when she found out the truth about me, and me mentioning a gynocologist (mind spelling) blew her off the wall. What am I supposed to do to go and get checked up and tested? I don't drive, I can't walk there, and I'm house bound.....I have no hope. The only hope I have is to get myself away with Amy for long enough for her to take me. I'm so scared, but it's time for me to know, it's been way too long.
You know, I realized something today, people say that we are so much smarter than people in the middle ages, but chew on this.....they were dumb enough to flee and spread the plague, and we are doing the exact same thing with AIDS. Think about it, the plague was so much easier to spread, but AIDS is being spread like a wild fire. Sure it's easy enough to have sex to get the virus, but you don't have sex with every person you come in contact with....or at least I don't.
I've been feeling a little crouded lately...so many of the same people just crowd me...they go out of their way just to come in contact with me, and it's getting annoying. I've gotten to the point that I don't answer the phone anymore, and when I'm here I have someone say that i'm not. That sort of reminds me of the song by NO DOUBT "Spider Webs" "I'm walking in the spider webs, leave a message and I'll call you back" "It's all your fault....I screen my phone calls".....too much of a similarity.
Speaking of NO DOUBT....I have an interesting story. A friend of mine, who's name I will keep in confidence, was obsessed with Gwen Stefani a while back. I guess she was the only person he'd ever obsessed over.....and he sent her four emails a day untill he got one back saying that if he ever sent another one again they'd get the police involved. Now these letters were no normal letters....they said things like he would be her bitch, and she could do anything to him that she wanted, he'd do anything, she could even castrate him.....now how nutty is that.....sorry, I love the guy as a friend.....but that's obsession....lol
Well, nothing else interesting on the home front.....heads up for history homework *pukes on book* there we go...fixes my problem (I didn't really do that mind you....only wish it were that easy).....