09/13/00
I am very much in luck to have the opperatunity of writing this evening, so I thought it smart to take that luck and use it. Though my life has been rather uneventful at the moment, I've had no catastrophies, and I have had nothing that has brought my heart to the lightness I love to feel.
My computer situation has still not gotten any better, the computer that was promised to me tuesday, is still not here, and I still have no access to the internet other than when my brother is sleeping, or gone. I hear from my mother that we are getting late bills for everything, power, cable, telephone, my braces....It seems the list goes on...my father doesn't seem to be paying the bills. He never used to let a bill become late, and now it seems he never pays them, he never goes to work, all he does is sit in front of a computer from the minute he wakes till the minute he returns to bed. I pitty people who are so controlled by a machine....that is the one fall of the revolution.
Nothing quite out of the ordinary has happened for a while. I had my sort of break down last weekend, but I seem to have overcome that well, and am now myself again. The only news that I have is that I talked to my friend Lana (from Miami) and she was offering ways to get me down there, and to stay with her next year at camp if I wish. I do not wish to set foot there, but for Lana I would. I told her about my party, and that I would like very much for her to come to it, and spend that weekend here with me....she didn't turn down my offer.....she thinks Matt is a flame aswell...
Matt seems to come up in conversations often now. Today I was sitting with a group of friends, and he came up. Most of my friends know a little bit about my whole story involving him, and I joke often about the "foretellings" of our (not so likely) *to be* romance....I don't believe it. I believe I have said before how my mother notes the similarities in our behavior, and has her opinion about why we met...if only such a fantasy were true. As Chris said (female) "If you guys did get married and he was your producer....then it would be ok to have sex with your producer" We all got a laugh out of that. One girl that I don't know well made the comment..."Well why don't you just ask him out" and I only replied that he is 19....and I do not think that he would be interested in going on a date with me...now anyhow....I try to hope that someday I would ask him on a date, or he ask me, but now it seems an impossibility.
That's enough of my rambling on, and in turn showing off what I dream about, and what I really want....Yes, I will admitt that I would be honered to have a date with him, but I can not act upon that as of yet.....and now I believe I have nothing more to write today, and am sorry to have bored you....but good day.