09/02/00
I am beyond fustrated with this whole computer thing. We have four lines and still I can't get on a single computer. Last night I set up the lap top with everything I needed, then what does dad do today but take it in his office.....ASSHOLE I could kill him, that took me so much work and so much time, and he just took it. Now, once again I have absolutely no computer to use. Brett keeps saying that we're getting another one, yeah, right, then they'll just take up all four lines....I can't win. My page will probably be discontinuing due to the fact that I can never get to a computer, sorry to anyone who cares. Though I love my page, and I want to keep doing it...there is obvious proof in my journal that I can never get to a computer to update. I'm so sick and tired of this, for my birthday I swear I'm going to get an internet connection of my own, a computer, and another phone line....if it comes down to that. I can't deal with their stupid obsession....it's driving me crazy, I just want to break something because I'm so angry.
I spent the day with Chris today. Each time I'm with her I learn more and more about why I love her so much, she really is a great person. I feel a sort of closeness to Chris that I don't really feel with anyone else anymore, she is pretty open with me about things, and tonight I learned something that was amazing. I can't quite say much about the night, except that we had fun, most of the conversation is kept personal, as most things are now. We wandered at one point to homecoming, and Shilp...both interesting topics. Mike seems to be everything in a guy that I don't want, and Chris is going to be my psudo-date to homecomming if she doesn't have one. I already know I'm going alone...it's useless to even dream otherwise.
I really am contemplating that computer/internet get up for my birthday, I can't stand all of this crap mentally. I'm getting so pissed that I'm taking it out on myself, and that's not a good sign at all. I really could break something that someone put into my hands....no matter how many lines we have they are so addicted it's sick. My dad doesn't even go to work anymore because of the damn game (everquest) all night, and all day, from the moment he gets up till he goes to bed he is on that computer playing the game. He must be in heaven with two computers to use on it. It's worthless to rant about that, I can't do anything about it...except for maybe kill the bastard...yes I do hate my dad....not dis-like....I hate him, he's the biggest asshole I've ever know, and I would find joy in watching him suffer and die. (know any good ways to kill someone?)
As for the band situation, it's also getting rediculous, and I'm tired of waiting on stupid Perry...I could kick his ass for being a bad manager. I really want to hear the band but that's only adding to my stress at the moment....and it gets worse every day. If my dad could have settled for one damn computer it would be great....you can tell where my mind is....
I'm really angry beyond belief, if you know any ways to relieve that feel free to make suggestions.
Well for now, good bye, if this is my final entry, I'm sorry, and if not, I'll see you whenever I can sneek time at a computer....if I'm ever that lucky.