05/03/00
Today is quite possibly the most amazing day of my life, coming from where i was it is! the other dy I had the misconseption that Josh wanted nothing to do with me, I hadn't received an email for months, and I was reather dissopointed. Last night all of that changed when I finally got up the courage to email him/ My email was replied to quickly and included the didgets! (owe owe) My dream! I will be able to see my 'sweet heart' tonight, which excites me to the point I could burst. I'm unusually happy today because of this, and can not wait untill I can see him. We had an interesting phone conversation last ight, I seems as though we both feel the same about one another. That feeling that they are the most perfect person. He said to me that it's amazing, how many people, other than relitives would call to tell you that they are going to be in town. To adore someone and have them feel the same way back, gives me the butterflies. Often I feel so disconnected in jazz band, as the only freshman, but I love guitar, socials matter, but I'm here for guitar. does it really matter that they sit there and socialize while I sit alone and write here? Not now, not to me, I couldn't be more content with my situation....everything now is happy, let's just hope it stays that way. I remember the dream I had a week or so ago, and in it someone was pregnant, it was freaky and that still kind of bugs me....the fact that my stomach's been bubbly feeling doesn't help either. I with I could write down and remember every word Josh and I said last night.....It was weird what we talked about, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I remember what I would always tell myself...i'm going to marry him.....no joke, I've always thought him to be the most perfect person, but well my oppinion of him last night, it's only grown larger and better. He's amazing, yes I've used that word three times, but what more can I say about someone who impresses me with almost everything they do, who doesn't even have to try to be cute, but is even cuter when he thinks he has to. I hope I have something to take home to remember him by....it almost doesn't seem real, I'm going to miami tonight, i'm going to see Josh, wow, and the way he speaks of the same feelings I have for him, it's indiscribable.....Man I'm a nut case, really I am I swear, but he's that one person I'd die for more than anyone, since I met him he has been, but gosh, I'm just so happy, and I really hope he doesn't read this and think of what a weirdo I am....