04/26/00

today I feel horrible, not quite as bad as yesterday, but pretty bad none the less. I almost forgot that Jazz band has a concert tonight at Port Charlotte high, which means that I will get to see my friend Mike, I met him at Miami last summer, again. That really doesn't help when I'm not feeling well either, I have to dress nice, put on a smile, and play like I want to be there. I'm extremily discouraged by the fact that I love guitar with all of my heart, but because of my image I don't want to do this gig. At the same time as all of this crasieness is occuring I'm being squeezed into a tight schedual again/ There are five weeks left of school and Jazz band has four gigs over this time, alos the 'Sour Guavas", Daves failed band need to start practicing if we want to participate in Septembers battle of the bands. Most likely through all of this I will rerealize my reasons for quitting the band in the first place. On the subject of Dave I have some interesting information, he's going out with a sophmore named Jessi, she's a monster! I'm not sure if I'm the only one with this oppinion, but I don't like her at all! In a way I think they deserve eachother, they're both jerks. Dante and Shanna broke up yesterday, Dante got his with, he didn't have to break up with Shanna...she broke up with him. In a sad way it's a new beginning to his saga...him and Charlene...They've liked eachother FOREVER and it's an absolutely crazy situation. Myriah is still her old self....going after the boys (tis tis!) She's now 'in love' with Sam, and supposidly they are going to go on a date....As for me, I'm just dandy, my life doesn't seem so bad when I look at everyone around me, some of them are such idots....well in their own ways, but either way I love them all, or else why whould I call them my friends? I don't really 'want' a boyfriend right now, though as I said, I do like someone. It all seems to be becoming ok, lifes little crisises seem to have blown right over me...ignoring that I'm there, and that's just fine with me! When ever I get into a bad situation I have two favorite quotes that always seem to sum up the whole problem and help me through each day....When I'm feeling like I want/need a boyfriend I tell myself "You must love yourself before you can love anyone else" hence the quote on my index page....and when I'm feeling down like I'm making a lot of mistakes, and like lifes all crashing down on me I say "Tomorrow is another day to fix todays mistakes" Like I said these quotes always seem to make everything alright, no matter what situation they seem to apply, and I just recite them to myself at the right time, and suddenly I feel that rush of everything beginning to be ok. Sianara, bonjour, farewell, adios mis amigos....tengo que irme....

 

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