04/20/01
Hey, check it out, I'm alive still. So it's been two months......I remembered that I hadn't updated a while ago, but I wanted it to be a full two months so that I could be proud of myself for being a procrastinator.
Anyhow, life's moving along slowly. I'm single as usual, in the spring musical as usual.....blah blah blah. Let me tell you, this has been one LONG year, not crazy but deffinately long.
Right now i'm single, as I said, but not looking. After Gary (my last boyfriend) I realized that they're either too clingy or don't give enough attention....besides I want some ME time, I don't want someone calling at the same time every day, and I don't want to have to try to be perfect for someone else. I know that having someone around is fun, but I seriously think that I would like to keep things the way that they are rignt now.....me, me, and ME.......that's the only person I want to be involved with......there is maybe one person that I kinda like, but he's a friend and I don't think he loves me so much, and after knowing someone for so long, I don't think I could ever really picture myself going after him, he's........almost......like my brother.....and just imagine.....it would feel like dating your brother...hehe
The musical has been great so far, tonight was our second show out of four......and it's magnificant! The only regret that I have is that I tried my best to get a part, but I ended up with the understudy role for the character I wanted.......i'm superiored by the girl who had the lead two years in a row.....and man, I thought she was a good actress, but I know now that she's nothing special.......I get so angry when I see her on the stage, doing my part, something I should be doing. I wanted it so much more than her, and I deserved it........but I showed them what I could do, and that's what I have to remember that I walked away from this with that knowledge that I did my best in the one (not so) performance that I had, and that it was great.
My so-called best friend, Dante, has totally alienated me in the past few months, first in tennis, now he's just a slave to Blake. I feel like he's my friend by location, not by choice......I wanted him to come see me in the play so badly, to see me in my dress rehearsal, but he refused to go, because "He didn't want to" so I hear..........that really upsets me, because that meant something to me, and he was just a jerk about it.......I bet if Blake wanted him to go he would have...:(
Anyhow, for the most part I'm doing ok, waiting to get a demo cd of mine sent back to me.....so I can send it to a competition that i'm doing, but other that that.......I'm done
So long, Fare Well....Auf Wiederzen Adeu.....Adeu, Adeu to yuh and yuh and yuh......good BYE (if you can't tell where that's from, it's The Sound of Music, that's the play we're doing, and i'm the Mother Abbess understudy......I forgot those details)