02/04/00
Life seems asthough it is a big joke where some are hurtwhile others prosper. Do we all take truns being the dunce, the one of all outright wrongness? So meany questions, yet so little answers to those questions, there must be a balance. The ups and downs of life are starting to get to me, I've overestimated my pacience and courage it seems. The notes I used to ignore now get to me, and harassment is taking it's tole. I wonder now that I know my suspicions were wrong, if someone I never would have suspected could be causing my pain, someone who at one time I trusted. Beyond all of that serious pndering, there are other thoughts that have been invading my mind. There's always that question of why do I cause others pain, and weep on their shoulders when it comes back at me, bu now I see another 'Bobby' in progress...with Mike. Lori started having a crush on him, which never really bothered me, I just started jetting over bobby, and was happy. Bur alst night when Mike told me that he has a crush on me, that make my problem appear...there was always a tiny minescule part of me that still thought he was cute, and this year he's grown a lot as a person, so now I'm choosing to let Lori take her chance first. If there's still a liking between us later, great, but if not...it wan't meant to work.