01/28/00
The deconstruction of a dream
Well does the little title say it for it's self or do I have to tell ya? Well I'll tell you, concidering the fact that you don't know what I'm thinking. Today once again I had play tryouts, and I think that I did fine, but I don't think that I made the play, I just don't. Since I saw a highschool play, since I heard that they existed I wanted to be in one, but that doen't seem to be happening. I mean I'm ok with it, but I don't think that Shayna got a part either, in fact I don't think a single freshman got a part...except maybe lighting, or something like that....ya know behind the sceens...but I don't have time to waste if I'm not in the play it's self. Now the best part is that I'm inhailing tons of notsogoodforyou foods because of my supposed loss... Well that sounds like fun hu? Let's just hope that I don't gain 1000 lbs by tomorrow, and that I loose some weight this weekend, that would be good! Is there a place inside ourselves that we all go to when we're down, when we need a friend who's not around? I've been asking myself that today, and I think the answer is yes, but there's always that way to tell outside of a person that they are unhappy, like some people don't eat, other's eat a lot, or people cry, or they're forelorn and lost. I wrote a poem today about my little place, the one I retreat to when I'm sad..I called it "The Hideout" I can't believe that people are starting to send me forewarded messages, when I specifically told them that I never wanted to see another one again, that's pretty cruel, and mean, and uncaring of them. I don't want to go to Lemon Bay highschool anymore, and after this year, i'm not planning on it. If I could have any wish in the world It would be to go to Booker High, a performing arts school about an hour from where I live. My mom thinks that they should just tell freshman not to try out for the play, because none of us are going to get in, except for guys maybe. Well then there's the all mighty beaten out subject of bobby, he's been giving me dirty looks, like I did something, and he's just being....well himself, god sometimes guys are just such jerks...well that's enough bitching for now....untill next time...atleast take care of yourself....