01/17/00
Well Now that lasted a good three days, I'm sure in my raging none of you know what I'm talking about, well only those who know me might. Last night I talked to Janet, and she said that what I did must have hurt, but she was wrong dead wrong, but no matter how much he hurt me I wont cry, I haven't cried, and I never will....why? Because it's only a bad thing if I make it one. How is it that I give everything to everyone, try to be perfect and please everyone, yet all I get in return is a cold shoulder? I'm about ready to give up on the human race its self, I hate people, i'll be an old lady with tons of cats before I let someone else in to try to break me. I may seem as though I over react, but then I give out things that little girls my age shouldn't........and that's what kills me the most. I meet heartless people who don't give a damn about me as long as i'm pretty and give them what they want. I hope my parents get a divorce and my dad moves away from Englewood, because I'll be more than happy to leave here, and leave everyone behind. I could just pick up and leave all of my problems here, and go off somewhere else and start like nothing was ever wrong, that would be great. I'm sorry to Myriah, and Lori....you know what he wasn't worth it, not at all, and even if you don't read this i'm sorry. Tomorrow I go back to school, and I can't wait to talk to Robert, how wrong he was, how insainly wrong! Everyone's going to be just glad to hear what news I have to bring, if I so choose to tell anyone anything. Is this the way life is supposed to be? I get something that makes me happy, but then after that I get something that hurts me 10 times worse that doesn't end like the happieness did......I have a feeling my life's always going to be this way, so what the heck, why not just go around and do whatever the hell it is that makes me happy, and hurt other people so that I don't hurt myself....sounds like a good life plan to me....well now that I got that out I feel even just a midget bit better, but no worries, I wont do anything stupid...to anyone else atleast. Farewell whoever's reading this....untill next time....