01/04/99
Well school's back in session as of today.....I'm not very pleased about that though, school's recently not become one of my favorite things, but that's another story that will come a different day. Today I got a letter from Aurora (my friend who lives in Australia) and she was telling me about how things were there, it seems that she's gained some weight since she moved from the states, and thinks that I look wonderful. She asked me if there was any guy I was seeing that she needed to know about, and ya know i'm kindof wondering that myself.....it's really a weird situation. Aurora also asked me how I lost so much weight, i think she might be wanting to try it, dunno, but she's awesome, i'd love her anyway the same. I talked to Cassie last night, and she made me call some guy, i hate to admitt it but i forgot his name, and he had asked her out, and while I was on the phone with them last night she said yes, it was soo sweet, and innocent, hehe. OHHHH I also got an email from Josh (one of my friends who lives in miami), and what's weird about that is that I was thinking the other night that it has been forever since we emailed eachother! This email is kindof a weird one, he was telling me about his new guitar, and he has some kind of suprise for me....he got a new car,and he's gonna take me for a ride when I go down there, and he asked me about bobby. He asked weather we were still together, and said that he hopes i'm not the kind of girl that will end up with someone who wont treat her right, and that he doesn't think that bobby would be that stupid to do that to me, and he's guessing that everything's alright with us......ANYHOW.....I really can't wait untill this summer, I really want to go back to miami, and see all of my friends, mandy, amanda, josh, mike, and the others. I guess everything's alright with me, though i'm still my normal emotionally disturbed, and I don't know what I want to do with my life, like I ever did know........you know someday i'm gonna end up married to some guy I hate, and wonder why, just like my parents, but maybe I can eliminate the wonder now......because i'm an idot, fool, stupid retard, who lets herself be taken advantage of, that's why i've never been happy, that's why i'm not happy, and that's why unless lightning strikes me I wont ever be happy....had to get that self bashing out...sorry. Well I can't wait till summer, no more school, no more people, i like that idea, no more people, all alone, me myself, and i....well and my other 'friends' if you get my point.